Intensive Relationship Counseling 

A Marriage or Relationship Intensive Weekend is a concentrated version of Intimacy Therapy designed to be a private, dedicated weekend working with one of our associates over three days. We also provide small retreats for up to four couples hosted at various hotels, resorts, or bed and breakfast locations.

Should we consider a Marriage/Relationship Intensive?

We (are):

  • Unable to attend traditional sessions on a weekly basis due to scheduling conflicts, location, or other family commitments

 

  • Desire quick results for the distress in our relationship, or we simply desire to strengthen our connection

 

  • Are influential in our community or live in a small town/ neighborhood and desire more privacy while working on our relationship

  • Able to invest in the relationship without using insurance (insurance does not cover this type of service)

 

During the three day intensive, you will have professional guidance to explore concepts of intimacy (in-to-me-see), including self, conflict/communication, affection, and spiritual intimacy if desired. You will have dedicated and focused time to learn how each of these components help you develop the long term love you have desired. This type of work normally takes 10-12 weekly sessions to achieve results.

Intensive Format (*can be individualized to meet your needs)

The Intensive weekend normally starts on Thursdays, and last through midday on Saturday. We meet for a total of 12 hours during the three days together. Many couples choose to spend extra time either before or after the weekend to both prepare and enjoy time away from home relaxing and connecting more deeply.

Day One (approximately 4.5-5 hrs.)

9:00-9:45am: Couples' Session

We will spend time exploring your vision for long term love, and the current concerns in the relationship.

9:45-10:30am: Individual Session A (Self-intimacy)

This will be time to explore individual needs, wants, or desires without partner pressure. *There is a Starbucks, Panera, McDonald's...within 2-5 min. of my office. You may also relax with a journal, book, or to music in my waiting area.

10:30-11:15am: Individual Session B (Self-intimacy)

Partner A now gets a short break, as Partner B explores needs, wants, or desires without partner pressure

11:15-12 noon: Couples' Session

We will reconvene together to overview the process for the rest of the weekend, including how we might explore each aspect of Intimacy Therapy. This will be a time to further commit to the process of deeper connection by acknowledging the negative patterns of thoughts and behaviors that have developed.

Lunch/Afternoon Break

This is your time to have a nice lunch, take a walk in a park, to nap or meditate-refuel for the evening,...I will provide you with a list of several local restaurants close to my office or your chosen hotel as needed. I will also include a list of local parks or scenic areas to just relax. There are several venues within 5-10 min. of my office. 

4:30-6:00pm: Couples' Session (Conflict/Communication-Intimacy)

We will begin to apply principles of positive and proactive communication to promote growth in the relationship, while sharing difficult emotions and thoughts.

Evening Recommendations

I encourage a nice dinner, and I will forward some restaurant ideas based on your preferences. This is an important time for you to both relax and enjoy each other, as well as time to talk and reflect on your day. I encourage you to plan for adequate rest and recovery, and you may want to make reservations for Friday lunch or dinner, if you have not already.

Day Two (approximately 4.5-5 hrs.)

Friday Morning

Consider starting your morning with light exercise, mindfulness exercises, and a nice breakfast at your hotel or local spot.

9:00am-12:00pm: Couples' Session (Conflict/Communication-intimacy)

We will continue to explore how to increase intimacy through positive communication -focusing on areas of tension and differentiation that you tend to avoid. There will be breaks as needed.

Lunch/Afternoon Break

This is your time again for a nice lunch, or even a quick nap. You could also opt for a couples' massage - I can provide a recommendation for a few spas within 2-10min. from my office.  I will include information in your initial packet to schedule that ahead of time if desired.  The venue closest to my office is Massage Envy or Massage Luxe, and I can typically arrange availability for two massage therapist on Thursday or Friday afternoons. 

4:30-6:00pm: Couples' Session (Affection-intimacy)

This 90 min. session will be used to explore how well you give and receive affection. This will be a session about more clearly showing understanding and supporting each other's "love language." We will examine both how well you give and receive affection.

Evening Recommendations

This would be a great time to explore an area of St. Louis you haven't experienced. I will likely give you homework that focuses on how to show love and care for your partner. *Don't stay up too late though; we still want you prepared for your final day.

Day Three (approximately 2.5-3 hrs.)

9:00-12:00pm: Couples' Session (Affection-intimacy + Spiritual-intimacy if requested)

The final session focuses on the momentum gained in the first two days. We work together on clearly defining how to sustain long-term love. If requested, we can also plan for how you engage in a faith walk together, or more broadly how to function as truly intimate partners (A WE TEAM). The latter part of this session will include a symbolic gesture that honors our work together and your commitment to follow through with a plan for continued growth as you both move forward in love. If desired, we can also discuss the possibility of a tune-up session anytime after your departure (including online conferencing for clients outside of the St. Louis Metro area). Whether local to St. Louis, or from out of state, you may choose to continue with additional sessions to deepen our work together. 

© 2011-2020 Positive By Design LLC/David M. Harris, MSW, LCSW. All Rights Reserved.

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